Does the Internet Make You Mean?
Let
me explain what I mean by the title above.
I am currently enrolled in a graduate studies class titled, “Social
Dynamics of Communication and Technology”.
As an assignment, we have been asked to write a reflective blog or essay
that is based on some thought-provoking questions posed by the professor. The above title stems from the
following question: Is it your experience that emails tend to be angrier than
other forms of communication?
For
this essay, I intend to examine email communication – along with several other
forms of CMC (Computer Mediated Communication) – to determine if, in fact, our
behavior online can be categorized as being more angry that our typical
face-to-face (F2F) communication.
I’ll
begin with a personal experience. I
received a statement from a recent visit to a medical office and was caught
off-guard by the hefty price on the invoice.
This was not my first visit to this particular practitioner, and the
bill was much higher than any other I had previously received. I had expected the normal cost for a routine
visit.
I
spent a few days thinking about what I needed to do to address the issue. I certainly didn’t want to come across like I
was refusing to pay for services rendered; however, I also didn’t feel right
about some of the line-items on the invoice.
Consequently, I determined that I would address my invoice questions
with an email. I sent a cordial (yet perturbed)
email to the doctor and his office manager, expressing concern regarding the
recent account statement. Fortunately,
the exchange went no further than that; both the office manager and the doctor
responded that they had reviewed the invoice and provided a new (and much
lower) total owed on my account.
As
I reflected on that experience I realized a couple things. First, although my email was not angry, by
any means, it was much more bold than I would have been had I gone in to
discuss it F2F. Second, the reason I was
able to express myself with increased boldness was because I didn’t have to be
prepared for an immediate backlash, or the embarrassment that could have followed if I had been wrong. I had no reason to fear such reaction, because I was sitting safely behind my keyboard.
So perhaps my title is a little misleading. I don’t mean to claim that the internet is
making us all a bunch of despicable jerks; rather, I only mean to suggest that
our communication online is sometimes more brazen than our typical F2F
interactions would be.
Researchers
have tried to identify what causes and contributes to this perceived increase
of conflict in CMC. One of the main behaviors
contributing to conflict in CMC is flaming:
The
occurrence of flaming in organizations is linked to a diverse set of triggers, such
as the informality of the communication medium, the absence of a buffering
‘‘time lag’’ that might moderate response, and a lack of nonverbal feedback
that might moderate and augment the interpretation. Researchers theorize that
email encourages uninhibited and aggressive communications because emailers are
less influenced by social norms in this environment. (Landry, 2000, p. 139)
Another
realm in which hostility is often found online is through the comments
and postings that regularly accompany web-based news stories. News outlets have been able to attract a
following on their sites by allowing readers to interact with the story and
each other. The commentary provided is
often engaging and worthwhile; however, there are an equal amount of comments
that are rude, intolerant, vindictive and insensitive. I am constantly amazed at the lengths to
which people will go to express their point, as well as to condemn anyone who
thinks otherwise. Once again, this seems
to occur more frequently online because of the courage people feel in the
confines of their office or den. Without
fear of immediate physical repercussions, internet users seize the opportunity
to unbridle their filter and unleash their textual fury.
Adding
to the complexity of this type of language can also be the matter of
misinterpretation on the part of the recipient.
Some messages that are not intended to offend sometimes do (and vice-versa).
The crux of the problem is this: ‘one person’s “hostile language” is another
person’s polite reminder, an attempt at humour, or a poorly worded but
well-intended message’. (Thurlow, 2004, p. 72)
As
I have reflected on my recent email exchange with the doctor’s office and read
what scholars have to say about this phenomenon, I have tried to determine if
internet use does, in fact, make a person more susceptible to anger. I believe that it does; however, only with
this caveat: the level to which a person will lash-out is commensurate to their
typical temperament. Simply put, people who
are laid-back and easy-going will become only slightly more bold with their
online interaction; while those who are typically quick to anger and outburst
will become even more virulent and incendiary.
Questions
For Discussion (please comment below):
- What are your thoughts on this topic?
- How closely does your internet personality mirror your real-life personality?
- Do you feel like your internet personality is more aggressive and angry?
- Do you have any personal experiences that illustrate this type of online behavior?
References
Landry,
E. M. (2000). Scrolling around the new organization: The potential for conflict
in the on-line environment. Negotiation Journal, 16(2), 133–142.
Thurlow, C., Lengel, L., & Tomic, A. (2004). Computer mediated
communication: Social interaction and the Internet. London: SAGE.
This is such an interesting post Josh. I definitely think computer mediated communication and I would add text messaging is a definite problem these days. Specifically with youth. People don't know how to communicate FTF as effectively as in days past. Not having someone responding to you instantly allows you to say a lot more whether it is more aggressive or not. It is less like our true selves and how interactions with others naturally are. Thoughts and feelings can be changed and influenced by others' comments, sometimes for the better. FTF seems to be, in my opinion, a healthier, more honest form of communication.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I have had experiences where this worked for my benefit, just like you. There are instances where boldness is required whether to resolve conflict or to reassure and repair. Not having to worry about a person's immediate reaction sometimes allows you to say things you really want them to know without the fear or distraction of their response.
"...the reason I was able to express myself with increased boldness was because I didn’t have to be prepared for an immediate backlash, or the embarrassment that could have followed if I had been wrong. I had no reason to fear such reaction, because I was sitting safely behind my keyboard...."
ReplyDeleteThis is a very astute observation, and it makes me think of how this feeling/reaction is not just confined to online communications. When I think of how people act when they are in their cars (think "road rage"), I think it's for similar reasons: They are safe behind their steering wheels in their cars, and since people assume the other driver is a stranger who they won't see again, it's easy to have no accountability or consequences for angry behavior. If we aren't held responsible for our statements or behavior, then we are free to express anger or frustration that we would otherwise keep in check.
Thanks for the thoughtful post!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI would agree that I am definitely bolder via email than face to face communication. I think it's for the simple fact that I don't suffer immediate consequences or embarrassment if I offend somebody, unintentionally or not. I consider myself to be a pretty easy-going person and I can admit that the internet has definitely made me meaner.
ReplyDeleteDo you think it's made you meaner, or just more honest? I find that even if I'm anonymous or if I'm using email, I still try to be polite and use the same manners as I would F2F, and I make a point to hold other people accountable for rude behavior. My sister isn't speaking to me at the moment because I am holding her and her husband responsible for some "flame" emails they sent out to family members, so even though the response was delayed over days rather than seconds, there are still consequences for mean behavior. And part of those consequences are she has unfriended me on Facebook, so our relationship has suffered.
ReplyDeleteBut were you mean, or simply honest? Honesty I think is a good thing and can be used effectively. You described your letter as cordial and it sounds like you received a positive outcome, so it doesn't sound like you were mean.
I have a feeling that over time, society will develop an underlying code for acceptable behavior online. "Trolls" are called out and banned from conversations, and generally communities tend to self-regulate offenders.
Vanessa
Well done Josh! I thought about tackling this issue, but stuck with love & the internet. I have definitely had experiences with the internet causing hostile reactions and misunderstood communications. I had an ex-boyfriend that was constantly angered at my responses on Instant Message (IM) despite the fact that I never meant any harm. After dating for a year, we decided that we would no longer IM, and if we absolutely HAD to, we would preface our it with "I come in peace."
ReplyDeleteMy parents aren't very computer savvy, so they often write email in CAPS which looks like THEY ARE SHOUTING AT YOU. They aren't great writers to begin with, so sending emails without proofreading or checking to see that they aren't being rude doesn't account for great communication in the family. The fact that they don't understand how to read humor online doesn't help either...
I work for the government, so I have to be particularly careful of what I say and how I say it. There have been a few times that I've read something and thought, "are they shouting at me?" and sometimes the answer is yes, that particular jerk would've been just as rude f2f as they were in cmc. So, I've gotten better at expressing myself in emails, and in my responses. I now demand just as much respect online as I do in person. I think it's fair :)
Great work, Josh. I think your information was presented well and I was able to easily understand and follow your point. Wonderful writing!
Great article Josh! The joys of grad school and creative thinking assignments. First of all, let me comment on your backdrop which fits so appropriately with your title. As a communications major I recognize these types of things. :) I will agree with you on the idea that people can be more bold in email or chat than in F2F communication. It is interesting how an introverted person is timid and shy in person, but will open right up and communicate via chat or email. Boldness does come out using the keyboard and internet. Thanks for a great writeup on this topic and best of wishes on your graduate studies!
ReplyDeleteGreat article, Josh! Really interesting.
ReplyDeleteHey everyone! Thanks for your feedback on the article. Just so you know, I have moved this blog over to wordpress, so there won't be any more updates to this blog. Here is the new link (along with a new posting, hot off the press:
ReplyDeletehttp://woodshedrant.wordpress.com/